dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I love having hate sex.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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