the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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