Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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