Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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