K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
