I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
