Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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