I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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