Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
