Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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