Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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