thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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