Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
