The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize