made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Dear god my vagina.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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