Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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