So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
