I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
