He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
