Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
