The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
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Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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