Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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