The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She told me I should be a condom model.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You are a genius and a whore.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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