Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
