your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
