Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
