I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
