So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
