If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
