I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The feeling are messing with the penis
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
