she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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