Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
