Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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