i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
