don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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