The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
