hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
