turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Randomize
