I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize