I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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