I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
