Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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