went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Shame - the story of my life.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
