I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
