Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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