No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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