Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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