I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
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Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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