he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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