Kiss
Puke
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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