You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
