MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
