She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
