somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
