Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
