She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
