i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
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The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
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You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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