your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
