escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
