if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize