In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I accidentally burped into my bong.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
